Raising Kids IS hard. But awesome.

Okay, I can't leave my last post as a depressed and sad one. So here is a happy one!

Things are great. We are loving our new house. We don't have a yard yet but that will soon come (next summer). For now we are utilizing the parks near us and our friends across the street. We love having neighbors and close friends.

I haven't gone running in 3 weeks and plan to start again tonight. Yay for me! Running is such a good stress reliever for me.

Luke and Wesley are as fun and as cute as ever. I found that as I decreased the stress in my life and allowed myself to let go of things that were out of my control, Luke's behavior has gotten significantly better. He feeds off of my emotions and when I am stressed he gets scared and out of control. As I stay calm and just accept life as it happens around me (while assuming control of the things that I have control over) he does the same and everyone is happy. We are all greatly benefiting from this new outlook on life.

I also have a strong belief in the fact that the relationship between spouses is the most important one because when something is out of order with husband and wife it automatically effects the children. Make sure you and your husband are on the same page and communicating with love ALWAYS. Kids hear everything and we need to be careful of what they hear. Not only that be we should just always talk kindly to our spouse. We can disagree on things but there doesn't ever need to be yelling or fighting. Ever. It's that easy. Stay on top of your concerns with your spouse and never put off telling your spouse something because you just think it will change. Do it now. Your relationship needs it.

Luke has gone 2 weeks without an accident in his diaper. In fact he's not even wearing diapers anymore. He gets to wear cool big boy Lightning McQueen underwear. Cool dude. I am so proud of him. And the Nerf gun sitting on top of the fridge that was promised to him when he became potty-trained will be given to him soon. Cute boy.

Dave and I went on a date last night and it was great. We need to do that more often and plan to trade with our neighbors a couple of times a month so that we can all get some necessary big people time together.

Well, my goal of keeping this short has failed. That's okay.

Raising kids is still hard but it's the greatest blessing in my life. Along with my husband.

Here's to making every day an adventure!

Does anybody else think having kids is hard?

Having kids is hard. Today was really hard. I went to sleep last night with a sore throat. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. I was up for hours. Wesley lay in my arm, Dave was sound asleep and Luke had fallen asleep in our bed. The four of us should have been sleeping but only I lay awake tossing and turning. I just knew that today was going to be hard. And it was. I don't know how to reach Luke. He is such a darling and sweet boy. But when it comes to his little brother Luke takes any opportunity to hurt him and bug him. I have tried to avoid time-outs in the past because he reacted as though I was taking his very soul away. He would tremble and shake and cling to me like his world was about to fall apart. So I used other forms of "taking a break". Until now. The last little while he has just stopped reacting to anything and I feel like all day long all he hears from me is "Stop hitting your brother." "Don't push your brother." "Give that back to him." Today just pushed me over the edge. I just sat down on the kitchen floor and cried. Within seconds both boys were sitting next to me eating their snacks as cute as can be.

Luke yells at me. A lot. I don't know why because Dave and I have done really good with keep our voices in check even when we get upset. It hurts me when Luke yells at me. In the beginning I used to worry about what other people thought about my son and my mothering skills but I have come to realize that that should be the least of my worries. My children should be my first. But boy does Luke yell. He even clinches his teeth and breathes like a dragon. Maybe he has anger issues. I strongly believe in and try really hard every time to come to his level and talk to him. To work out the emotion and teach him that it's okay to get angry, even normal, but it's not okay to act out in that anger. I don't know if he understands at all but I am willing to work on that one for years because I know it will help him throughout his life. I know that it's hard for a firstborn. He had it all when it was just him. Two parents that were all his. Then Wesley is born and that all changes. It must be so hard to go through that. He doesn't understand that we love him just the same. Well, he might, but his whole world was turned upside down in one day. But it can't be any different. We want a big family and every child is going to have to go through the transition of not being the baby anymore. They will survive. But boy is it hard for me. Trying to help them go through hard things while at the same time loving them and squeezing them for just being them. Those are hardthings for me. It's hard for me to combine the two and I know it's going to only get harder as they get older and go through even harder things.

I want to remember how precious they are. They will always be precious but the baby stage has it's special preciousness. Wesley is almost a year old. Where in the world did the time go! People ask me all the time when I plan to get pregnant again and I laugh and say, "Probably in the Fall." But inside I am thinking, "I haven't even figured out how to raise two children at the same time! I can't think about raising three."

I called my mom to get some "encouragement for a mother" and she didn't answer. She was on the other line. She's so busy. So I am typing up my feelings instead. I need to do better writing in my journal. I did really good until we moved into our new house. I need to read my scriptures more, I need to pray tons more and I need to have WAY more faith. I think I have to relearn everyday how to be a mother. These sweet boys that put up with me are so sweet to do so.

I found a poem from a discouraged mother. In it she wrote, "To some I have done nothing, but to two I have done the world."

Thanks for listening.

Luke and the Doctor

Today we had Luke's 3rd year checkup at the doctor's. Now I figured that it would be a battle to get him to go and a battle to convince him to let the doctor check him - and oh what a battle it was. But the battle was short and I was the one that stepped back. There was no screaming or fighting from Luke. All he said was "I can't" when the nurse tried to check his heart rate and blood pressure. She put the little doo-dad on her finger, I put it on mine and we even put it on Wesley but Luke wouldn't have any of it. He crossed his arms behind his back and said, "I can't". There I was with Luke and Wesley on my lap. Wesley was grabbing at my hair and clothes because he wanted to be fed and Luke was refusing to cooperate with the nurse. I laughed, turned to the nurse and asked, "Do we have to do this?" She said, "Umm...I guess not." And I said, "Okay. Let's not then."

So we ventured over to the scale and height thing and it was the same story. "I can't." We ended up weighing me holding him and me without him. We then went into the room and had his vision test. Woohoo! He loved that game.

But why am I telling you this? Well, while he was thoroughly enjoying his vision test/game I was watching the little munchkin boy. I was proud of him. I thought, "way to go Luke! Way to not let somebody violate you or your body when it makes you uncomfortable!"

He is a fighter. He wouldn't even let the doctor check his ears when I told him that Toothless the dragon was in it. Fighter. And I was so proud of him. He knows when he feels safe and comfortable and when he doesn't. I'm not about to step over those bounds and force him to give up his power.

Way to go Luke.

We went home and played with bubbles.